I'm turning 18 today!

Date: 2 Apr 2025

I can finally stop lying about my age online! lmao

But on the other hand, it's kind of a shame, because I'm used to seeing myself as 'talented and wise beyond my age'. I wonder how this will affect my self-image as I grow older. Once regarded as a gifted kid, soon I'll be but a struggling adult. It's rather cliché, isn't it? I guess the only way to combat this is to keep improving myself and refining my skills until I become God.

Despite me writing a whole post for this occasion, I do think that it barely warrants my attention. There once was a kid taken in by consumerist society, being all too excited to receive an expensive present that one can do without. But now, the circumstances are different, and this kid no longer exists. All this was necessary for me to learn that happiness does not have a price tag, for there is no such thing to begin with. There is only an absence of pain, but even this state is nigh impossible to achieve. So, instead of chasing illusions, I am content in a state of amusement, which does not require any effort or special occasion to achieve.

On a more depressing note, I have come to realize that I have seen about everything this world has to offer me. I feel my sense of childlike wonder slipping away, and no matter how hard I try, it's going to get away eventually. I can see it clearly: the bleak future in the endless pit of struggle that I'm about to fall into head first. Nothing has happened in the past 3 years, and nothing will happen from this moment forth. I have all the time in the world to mourn the lives that I could have lived, where in each and every one of them I did the exact same thing.

I can only hope that the future me is reading this and laughing at my stupidity. Or even better, not reading this and resting peacefully instead. But this is far too much to ask for.